I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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