I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize