My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
