i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
