so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
