She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
