I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
