im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
