just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
