i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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