You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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