I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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