Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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