Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
