I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
