Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize