Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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