I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
