oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
