Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
