smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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