Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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