the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
