I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
