a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
