I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
