LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
