did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
