i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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