Dual....:-)
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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