Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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