I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
