i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize