I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
