well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
