real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
