There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
