maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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