I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
