I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize