Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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