capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
