Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
