i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
