I feel like I'm in dance class right now
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
do nipples grow back?
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