i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
