Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
