Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
