Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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