your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You ruined the universe
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
