If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I think your dad took our porno
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
