Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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