Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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