I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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