he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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