What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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