I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you told grandpa to call you daddy
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
