My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
