someone get that fucking seahorse.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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