He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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