Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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