People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
