Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
